A New View on Fitness
Early morning rises – sweaty gym sessions, high vibe playlists, and the good ol’ Just Do It mentally. Fitness.
It makes you feel good, raises self-confidence, and gives you legit energy for the day. There are all kinds of ways fitness adds goodness to our lives. Sometimes I feel fitness can be used as punishment – strapping yourself on the elliptical until you feel worthy enough, or feel you deserved the piece of cake you enjoyed the night before for a friend’s birthday.
I’m here to provide a new view on fitness – using fitness as part of your self-love practice. When we do things for outside reassurance and approval we’re setting goals for the wrong reasons. Working out to look like _____________ (fill in the latest hottie on the cover of Shape magazine) or wanting to lose 10 pounds for your upcoming vacation are all good to have in place for motivation to add some extra pizzazz to your goals, but when you’re truly doing something for long-term success the drive, it needs to come from within you.
I’ve gone through a number of fitness avenues where I have BIG goals of gaining muscle, losing fat, toning up, burning calories, working out everyday, staying super consistent with a workout routine when it comes down to it – I don’t stick to it for much longer than a month and I believe it’s because the fitness is coming from a place of shame.
“If I don’t workout, I suck.”
“If I skip my workout today, I’ve failed the day.”
“I don’t deserve to have fun unless I sweat my a** off this morning.”
Enough of this crap.
Instead of thinking of a workout as punishment, choose to look at fitness as part of your self-care routine. [click to tweet]
I workout because it relieves stress, therefore I’m able to show up greater in other parts of my life.
I choose to go to the gym because it enhances my mood, and helps me stay calm in areas of my life that may seem out of my control
Fitness allows me to prevent health issues in the future so I can continue to kick ass in life!
Working out provides me with a healthy mind and body relationship
Incorporating fitness into a loving practice is when you start to slam through fitness goals – whether that’s losing fat, toning up, gaining muscle, or generally to feel more energy. If things come from a place of love they are more inclined to stick around and have more meaning. On the flip side, we don’t need to compare ourselves to others, put ourselves down, and look for approval on a physical level.
Fitness isn’t only good for our outside appearance but for our internal self-love Divine being – there needs to be more of an emphasis on that – keep this in mind the next time your alarm clock goes off for the gym.
What are some ways you’ve connected with fitness? How is your relationship with the gym? Why do you go to the gym? Choose to love yourself sweaty.
photo via @brookecagle
13 Things We All Need To Do More Of
1. Ask for Help
We can’t do it all, it’s impossible, and guess what? It’s okay! When you ask for help it shows maturity, and strength when you trust and lean on others. Don’t let asking for help make you feel you can’t do things on your own. We weren’t put on our own individual plants for a reason, reach out!
2. Slow Down & Enjoy Our Meals
I’m an on-the-go type of person, I’m usually eating on the run or whipping something up quick but that’s no excuse as to why we can’t take 20 minutes to sit down at a table and chew.
That’s it, it’s simply – taking a deep breath, showing gratitude for the food in front of you, and enjoying it. Studies show when you are relaxed and appreciative of your meal it digests better so next time you cook yourself up a nice meal, slow down.
3. Speak Up When We Don’t Feel Right About Something
If your inner voice is telling you to do or not do something, usually, it’s right. It’s our inner gut feeling, our intuition, your ‘ness that will always guide you to the best possible solution for you in any situation. It won’t always be the popular choice, it won’t always be the one you think is right for you, but that inner knowing is something to pay attention to. [Tweet “Do what feels good from the inside out, and stand up for it.”]
4. Follow Through
Your word means everything, and your follow-through is the icing on the cake. With today’s technology, it’s too easy to bail on plans, not text someone back or just pretend “not see your message.” It’s too easy to, at the last minute, decide to say no. If you don’t want to do something, that’s fine, just be sure to be upfront about it.
When I say I’m going to do something, right there I’m committed. Either I do what I say, or in advance, tell the person why I won’t be doing it. Sounds pretty straightforward right? Don’t become the boy who cries wolf and let your word turn into nothing.
5. Say No
This relates to number 4 – when you are greeted with an idea if it’s not a hell yes, the answer is no. Follow this rule and you will find yourself in situations that fill you up and ignite your ‘ness, rather than drain you. There’s no reason to do something if your heart and soul isn’t included.
I tell my three younger sisters all the time if you don’t want to do something, say no – the other person won’t turn to dust, you won’t explode, and guess what? You are NOT going to lose a friend. [Tweet “Be upfront with people – say no to the things that drain you.”] It leaves more room for loving experiences to enter into your life.
6. Put Ourselves Out There
You are you for a reason; you were put on this Earth for a specific cause – a purpose. Whether that purpose is to be a mom to four girls, an artist or a sales rep selling bar equipment OWN IT. Your purpose makes you…well, YOU. BE YOURSELF!
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there – continuing to get out of your comfort zone will only make you stronger and grow into more of the wonderful person you are here to be.
7. Realize We Have Access to Everything We Need at ALL Times
How? Through breath – through stillness, we are given all the answers. Sounds a little woo woo at first I know, but trust me, it’s true. We can’t try to control every aspect of our lives, it doesn’t work like that. We ultimately choose the actions we take, but there is a something much bigger than us looking after us. Whether that be God, The Universe, Higher Power, Mother Nature, whatever resonates with you when you take time to sit in silence, your inner wisdom will come through.
You can’t just sit and expect for a book to come flying through the window with all the answers neatly organized by chapter for you, although that would be legit, you need to ask. Ask for help, ask questions, show this Higher Power you need some answers. When we put out energy, it always comes back. What we focus on, grows. So next time you feel lost – take a moment to write down everything it is you’re unsure of, worried about, or need help with. Then, put on a relaxing, non-lyrical song, or just sit in silence. Notice what thoughts come up – what new creative solutions you hear. When we connect with our ‘ness – we have access to everything we ever need, at all times.
8. Self Care
Setting up a morning routine is the single most important thing to do to set up a productive, positive day. It takes the pressure off – you wake up, you thank the world for another beautiful day, and you move into your routine. It takes the stress out of thinking first thing in the morning. You just woke up, having to plan which order you’re going to do things to get out the door in time for work isn’t the first thing you want to do each day. You want to leave room to ease into your day – calmly and stress-free, that way, the rest of your day has this same flow.
When we complete our morning tasks, we feel accomplished before we even step outside the front door. It creates a moving momentum where we will continue to complete tasks throughout our day – making for a productive day. We don’t forget our lunch at home or run out of time to grab gym clothes when we do things in a semi-same order each day. I’ve been practicing a morning routine for the last month consistently and I’ve seen a huge improvement in my mood and how the rest of my day falls into place. Do I sometimes forget something, or feel rushed? Of course, isn’t being human fun? Find a routine, test it out, see results.
9. Reach Out to Others
It can be easy to stay solo, silent, disconnected in physical form from people. There are so many times I wonder, “What DO people do on the weekends?” It’s easy for some to sit around and wait until Monday at work rolls around. NO, get moving, reach out to old friends, don’t lose sight of human to human contact, it is so important. As time speeds up and more and more technology arises it’s going to be even more important to make the effort and then… as put in #4 — FOLLOW THROUGH.
10. Trust Your Life
Everything in your life is happening in Divine time. You are given situations you are ready for, even if it feels overwhelming and stressful, you are never going to be faced with something you can’t handle. You are connected with people to either help you learn valuable lessons to make you stronger or to lift you up and help you grow.
It may seem at times that life craps in our face and doesn’t bother to hand us a towel, but there’s either a lesson coming out of that situation or a renewal happening behind the scenes. Trust it. Life is happening FOR us, not TO us. This concept relates back to not control – there is a bigger plan for yourself than you may know – when we trust, we can flow through life with more ease and appreciate where we are today, not tomorrow or in a year, now.
11. Release Emotions
I work a very stressful job, it’s very up and down, and a lot of it is out of my control. In one day I can literally feel all emotions under the sun – happy, sad, nervous, pissed, joyful, accomplished, etc. I’m not complaining, I love my job, it’s just we need to be able to feel and release emotions. Without acknowledging them, where do they do? They stay inside you – sometimes they create anxiety, or worry, lack of sleep, sickness, or inflammation. It’s important to feel the feeling when it’s happening.
Take a walk around the block, go to the restroom or your car and breathe. In studies, it can be a little as 90 seconds of feeling an emotion to release it. That’s only a few deep breathes and you are on to kick your next tasks ass. It’s going to be different for everyone – 1 deep inhale and excel doesn’t mean you’re magically healed. You may need to journal a bit that night, or hit up a boxing class – experiment here and find what activities work for you so you can release your emotions. You will be calmer and clearer headed, who doesn’t want that?
12. Serve
I try to live a life of service – I see the big picture and I notice I’m not the only one in it. We need to be okay doing things without the need for recognition. Without the need for a thanks, this is definition of service mentality. When we give to others we give to ourselves, when we help a friend we are helping ourselves, when we give love to others you better believe that love comes back.
We need to serve, to lift up the world, to be miracle works. Being a miracle worker is choosing love over fear as much as possible – it’s spreading positive energy, and light in situations of jealously, lack, and feelings of not being good enough.
13. Seek Development
I always look for ways I can improve – whether that be reading a new book, connecting with like-minded people online, or taking myself to conferences it’s important to take the reigns of our lives. Don’t rely on others to develop you as a human being.
“Don’t rely on others to develop you as a human being. “
Yes, your work may send you to training or have you complete certain things and that’s great but we need to remember we are responsible for our own lives.
Seek ways you can grow, serve, and give more. This will only make you a mire well-rounded person. Research conferences on topics that ignite you ‘ness, there is nothing more empowering than being in a room of people with the same passions. Networking with those who are going to facilitate your success and lift each other up.
photo via @stilclassics
People Managers • 3 Ways to Retain Motivate + Keep Millennials Engaged
It all started with that one season of Survivor, didn't it? When it became Millennials versus the WORLD. No, it's been happening long before that! But why? Why is there so much talk about Millennials? We're the largest generation in the workplace today so of course, that's going to throw some attention our way!
Today's episode is for anyone with an open-mind interested in learning about millennials. The show is primarily focused towards managers, but the content will be relevant to anyone who works alongside, even just one, millennial at work. Maybe you have a son or daughter who's a millennial? I'll bet you'll find value too!
I dive into three major ways managers can retain, motivate, and keep millennials engaged at work.
1. Mix Up the Meetings
(You'll be a managerial DJ by the time you're done!)
2. Watch out for Routines
(No more 5, 6, 7, 8 routines, work should not be treated as a choreographed dance!)
3. Approach it from an Agile Methodology
(Put your software development hat on and *raise the roof* for a whole new way of productivity!)
Dive deeper on this topic by tuning into the Career Coaching with Jessness podcast episode, here.
The show is jam-packed with ideas, suggestions, and gives you specific areas of work to focus on. After listening, you will have more insight into the millennial generation at work, and you'll walk away with concrete ideas and action items to take in order to best manage and work alongside them. Enjoy!
photo via @benchaccounting
The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have
The most important relationship you will ever have is one with self.
It’s not selfish to love yourself, in fact, it’s required. In order to love others, YOU have to fill yourself up. I feel like this lesson is like a song stuck on repeat that I can never turn off, BUT life will keep giving it to me until I figure it out. And the funny part about it? It’s not like there will come a day where it’s solved, “OPT I’m done, I’m 100% filled with love, I can give and give and give until the cows come home and I’m FOREVER in a state of bliss.” – Jessica’s delusional brain.
That’s just it – my life is constantly different, it’s always changing, therefore, my self-care practice will be too. I will need to find different kinds of self-care routines, and mindful practices as I go to help keep me grounded, and balanced. We won’t even get into balance cause that’s a whole ‘nother topic, but you get what I’m putting down I’m sure.
If we don’t commit to doing things that help us feel more calm, relaxed, and filled up, shit will hit the fan. Trust me.
I’m an all or nothing kind of person, go big or go home, if you’re not #1 you're last, get where I’m going with this…type of person. This energy is harsh, intense, and frankly very masculine – I’ve been feeling this way more than ever lately.
I work in an environment that can be very draining, the go-go-go mentality is engrained in you from day one, people who have been there longest and those who are the most successful model this each and every day. It’s a male-dominated profession, and can be very competitive – I like the competitiveness, I like learning the ropes of sales, I like going at lightning speed BUT it’s draining. Being in an all or nothing mindset is unhealthy, in any area of your life. Navigating thru this for me is a daily struggle. When to say no, identifying when it’s time to go home for the day, and deciding when ‘that thing’ can wait until tomorrow because guess what? There is always more to do.
This goes for anything in life, it’s not black or white. Learning to flow, accept what comes my way WITHOUT control, and ALLOWING myself to be receptive in a feminine nurturing way is one of the life lessons I’m learning right now. On top of the reoccurring ‘Fill Yourself Up’ song…
It sucks, it’s hard – I don’t understand a lot of it, or how I’m going to change, or what I should do in every situation but what I’ve learned over time is that the how isn’t up to me – I need to get SUPER clear on WHAT I want and WHY – from there…if The Universe recognizes what I want and why as my highest, truest, authentic self – then I know my Angels, God, and everything of the Highest Truth and Compassion’s got my back. I don’t need to worry and stress and cry and freak out and and and…about the how. Let the Universe do her thang, after all, she’s got more resources and look at the Sunsets she creates? Rockstar.
But I don’t really know what I want right now, I’m not sure I can put it into super clear words like this: person, place, thing, goal, objective, boom done. But what I do know is HOW I want to feel – focusing on the outcome of what shit is going to look like or should look like is stupid. Half the time we are given exactly what we asked for but it might be dressed a different way, or come in a form we haven’t even seen before. The point is when we focus on the feeling, our subconscious knows, feelings are something the Universe can understand, it does not connect to objects or logic, but feelings…now we’re talkin.
Focusing on FEELING the way I want will attract those feelings to me, in whatever way, shape, person, opportunity, experience, location or form that shows up as. In order to focus on the feelings we want – We need to develop a relationship with ourselves, a dialog, a self-care routine to tap into US, me, YOU.
photo via @autumnagrellaphotography