The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have


The most important relationship you will ever have is one with self.

It’s not selfish to love yourself, in fact, it’s required. In order to love others, YOU have to fill yourself up. I feel like this lesson is like a song stuck on repeat that I can never turn off, BUT life will keep giving it to me until I figure it out. And the funny part about it? It’s not like there will come a day where it’s solved, “OPT I’m done, I’m 100% filled with love, I can give and give and give until the cows come home and I’m FOREVER in a state of bliss.” – Jessica’s delusional brain.

That’s just it – my life is constantly different, it’s always changing, therefore, my self-care practice will be too. I will need to find different kinds of self-care routines, and mindful practices as I go to help keep me grounded, and balanced. We won’t even get into balance cause that’s a whole ‘nother topic, but you get what I’m putting down I’m sure.

If we don’t commit to doing things that help us feel more calm, relaxed, and filled up, shit will hit the fan. Trust me.

I’m an all or nothing kind of person, go big or go home, if you’re not #1 you're last, get where I’m going with this…type of person. This energy is harsh, intense, and frankly very masculine – I’ve been feeling this way more than ever lately.

I work in an environment that can be very draining, the go-go-go mentality is engrained in you from day one, people who have been there longest and those who are the most successful model this each and every day. It’s a male-dominated profession, and can be very competitive – I like the competitiveness, I like learning the ropes of sales, I like going at lightning speed BUT it’s draining. Being in an all or nothing mindset is unhealthy, in any area of your life. Navigating thru this for me is a daily struggle. When to say no, identifying when it’s time to go home for the day, and deciding when ‘that thing’ can wait until tomorrow because guess what? There is always more to do.

This goes for anything in life, it’s not black or white. Learning to flow, accept what comes my way WITHOUT control, and ALLOWING myself to be receptive in a feminine nurturing way is one of the life lessons I’m learning right now. On top of the reoccurring ‘Fill Yourself Up’ song…

It sucks, it’s hard – I don’t understand a lot of it, or how I’m going to change, or what I should do in every situation but what I’ve learned over time is that the how isn’t up to me – I need to get SUPER clear on WHAT I want and WHY – from there…if The Universe recognizes what I want and why as my highest, truest, authentic self – then I know my Angels, God, and everything of the Highest Truth and Compassion’s got my back. I don’t need to worry and stress and cry and freak out and and and…about the how. Let the Universe do her thang, after all, she’s got more resources and look at the Sunsets she creates? Rockstar.

But I don’t really know what I want right now, I’m not sure I can put it into super clear words like this: person, place, thing, goal, objective, boom done. But what I do know is HOW I want to feel – focusing on the outcome of what shit is going to look like or should look like is stupid. Half the time we are given exactly what we asked for but it might be dressed a different way, or come in a form we haven’t even seen before. The point is when we focus on the feeling, our subconscious knows, feelings are something the Universe can understand, it does not connect to objects or logic, but feelings…now we’re talkin.

Focusing on FEELING the way I want will attract those feelings to me, in whatever way, shape, person, opportunity, experience, location or form that shows up as. In order to focus on the feelings we want – We need to develop a relationship with ourselves, a dialog, a self-care routine to tap into US, me, YOU. 

photo via @autumnagrellaphotography